I CONFESS

October 11, 2012

I am a Whovian. Some time over the last year and a half, my wife and I got into watching the British science fiction show Dr. Who. Other than being a big Star Wars guy as a kid, I was never into sci-fi. I never watched Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica. For some reason, we got hooked on this show that relaunched in 2005 as a continuation of the original that aired from 1963-1989. 

Maybe it is because the new episodes air on Saturday nights. Maybe it is because I had too much time on my hands, but recently I realized that some of the characters on the show share the characteristics of certain people, programs and conferences in college football. 

Here are the links I have made from the world of college football to the world of Dr. Who.

Daleks - Alien race that destroys (or in their terms, “exterminates”) other species because any species that is not Dalek is inferior. Their CFB equivalent is... 

SEC - As much as SEC schools despise each other, they all look down on every other conference nationwide. Six consecutive national championships will do that to a conference. 

Cybermen - Humanoid robots made of steel. Humans are “converted” by having their brains removed and placed in a body of armor. Conversion removes class, race, sex, creed and emotion. Their CFB equivalent is...

Big East - Whether you play basketball in Houston or football in San Diego, you are now Big East. Abandon all that you previously believed and prepare to be converted into what your new ruler wants you to be.

Weeping Angels - Also known as “the Lonely Assassins.” When being observed, they turn to stone. Turn your back, look away or even blink, and they are deadly. Their CFB equivalent is... 

Clemson - Underestimate them and they will take you out. However, when they draw your attention and the world watches, they turn to stone.

Sontarans - Alien race with a militaristic culture. Every aspect of their society is geared toward warfare and win or lose, the battle itself is glorious. College football equivalent is...

Army, Navy and Air Force - The military academies prepare for battles much larger than those on the gridiron. They all relish the opportunity to compete side by side in battle.

Silurians - Native race of earth. They live underground away from the human race. Some are content with life as it is. Others look forward to the day they come to surface and reclaim their rightful place as the dominant species of planet Earth. Their college football equivalent is...

Notre Dame - The Irish have spent a lot of time beneath the surface of college football. They were the original dominant program. Many of their followers are anxious for the day they reclaim their rightful place as rulers of college football.

The Silence - Alien race that has been living on earth since the beginning. Why haven’t we seen them? We have. When you aren’t looking at them, they basically edit themselves out of your mind. Unless you are looking at them, you forget they exist. Their college football equivalent is...

Miami - When things are going well for the U, they are must see college football. They have talented athletes and swagger. However, when things aren’t going well, you practically forget about them. It seems to be all or nothing with this program. Fear them or forget about them. There is no in between.

River Song - She is a companion of the Doctor. She is also a time traveler. She and the Doctor meet out of order. Their first meeting for him is their last from her perspective. It is so complicated, she has a diary to help keep track of what they have already done together and what she has done that is in the Doctor’s future. Confused yet? Her college football equivalent is...

Kansas State - The Wildcats are also hard to understand. They had no history to speak of as a program until Bill Snyder came along. He took over a program that had lost 27 straight games. Before he was done in 2005, he won KSU its first conference title since 1934. After three mediocre seasons under Tom Prince, they brought the old man back. Somehow, he has them back in the top 5. It defies logic.

Amy Pond - Companion of the Doctor. He dropped out of the sky when she was seven years old. He tells her he will be right back and leaves in his time machine. Instead of returning twelve minutes later as promised, he mistakenly returns twelve years later. After a brief adventure together in her hometown, the Doctor leaves her for another two years before she joins him on his travels. He refers to her as “the girl who waited.” Her college football equivalent is...

ACC - The league will have 14 football playing members when Pitt & Syracuse join next season. Notre Dame will soon join in all sports except football. Even though that will bring the ACC to 15 teams playing basketball, they do not plan to add a 16th school for hoops. Why? Like Amy Pond waiting for the Doctor, the ACC will patiently wait for Notre Dame football to come and take them to new and amazing places.

Rory Williams - Companion of the Doctor. Introduced with Amy Pond as a bumbler for some comic relief. He finds his sense of adventure and becomes brave, admirable and in some cases feared. His college football equivalent is...

Oregon - The Ducks were once known for the Donald Duck clone of a mascot and their funny uniform combinations. Okay, to some they are still known for the uniforms. Over time they have become so potent offensively, they are taken very seriously and feared by defensive coordinators every where.

The Doctor - He is a time lord. His enemies consider him to be the greatest evil in the universe. His friends and followers will defend him to their last breath. Just recently, all records of him were deleted from every database in the universe. His college football equivalent is...

Joe Paterno - Ditto.

Games of the Week:

Oklahoma vs. Texas- The Red River Rivalry is one of my favorite college football traditions. It is basically a mid-season bowl game between two great programs. Expect a close game. Three of the last fourteen meetings have been decided by double digits. Both defenses will be tested. I liked OU to win this game before the season, and I haven’t seen anything to change my mind. I’ll take the Sooners 31-27.

South Carolina @ LSU -What a performance last Saturday by the Gamecocks! They jumped all over Georgia en route to a 35-7 blowout. They have won a school record ten straight games. As awesome as their crowd was last week, they are in as hostile an environment as you will see this week. LSU’s offense never found the end zone last weekend in a 14-6 loss to Florida. The Tigers can’t afford another loss. The ‘ol ball coach has a defense that will keep them in the game, but I don’t think they can win two games like this back-to-back. I like LSU 20-14.

Stanford @ Notre Dame - The Irish defense is the talk of the nation. They have only allowed three TDs thru five games, and Notre Dame has not trailed this season. Stanford is hard to figure out. They upset USC, rally to beat Arizona in OT and then lose on the road to Washington. Stanford is the most balanced offensive attack that ND has faced so far this season. With the game being in South Bend, I think the Irish stay undefeated. I like ND 27-21.